Vendetta I

I don't text, I talk.

Let's hash this out:

The Benefits of Texting

1. Convenient (ie--when your roommate's at the store, and you need another egg for the flan, you can text said roommate to pick you up another egg for the flan.)
2. Non-Disruptive (ie--when you want to find out where your friend is sitting in church so you can sit with her, she'll get your text in a quiet way and text you back directions to the pew... sorry... SEAT in the AUDITORIUM--so PC)
3. Oh, sorry, there is no third benefit.  There are just the two.

The Evils of Texting

     1.  Disruptive (on so many levels)

• You text during face to face conversations and you should be shot.  This behavior is rude and discourteous.  It shows you are not interested in what I have to say, that you are bored with the conversation, and you are looking for a distraction.
• If you habitually text during meetings, classes, or organized group events, you obviously depend on keeping yourself in a constant state of stimulus.  You lack focus and the attention span to concentrate on whatever is physically in front of you.  Your intelligence is degenerating as you text.  You have no respect for the people who are trying to engage your attention, who have spent energy and time preparing for this event.

     2.  Inconvenient (on so, so many levels)

• Misinterpretation: You begin and maintain a conversation through short blurbs of writing.  You must wait for the recipient to receive your text, and wait again for his response.  In the short amount of lines and words, and the long amounts of waiting, you easily misinterpret tone, attitude, and intention.  This creates negative drama.
• Limited Responsibility: You can write almost anything in a text message, and later claim, "Oh, that's not what I meant, you read it wrong," when THAT is, in fact, what you really meant.  Text messaging allows you to cuss someone out, threaten his life, or tell him he's the biggest poophead in the world, and you are not obliged to hear his response.  Texting is the biggest cop out technology offers.
• Spineless and Shallow: You depend on this indirect way of communicating with people to the point at which you'd rather initiate a relationship with someone through texting than actually talking to her on the phone or face to face.  You don't have the courage to look her in the eye, you don't trust her not to mock you if you make a fool of yourself, you don't have the confidence to make yourself vulnerable.  You are lazy and you show insecurity and a lack of motivation.
• Unintelligent & Insufficient Communication: You abbreviate words and phrases in order to fit everything you want to say into your limited amount of text.  If you don't fit it all in, you create an ellipsis (...) and continue abbreviating in the next text.  You write "LOL" and "awsm" and "u r grt" and "TTYL."  Are you REALLY laughing out loud?  You never punctuate, and you misspell words and use words incorrectly, like "their" and "your."  Of course, most of your friends don't care because they are idiots, too.  The kicker is, when you write an email, a Facebook post, or even a paper, your texting habits spill into your general writing habits.  You look ridiculous and uneducated.

Nine out of ten times that you text message, you are losing the ability to communicate with other people in a healthy way.  You are losing the intelligence and knowledge you (perhaps) worked so hard to gain in the first half of your life.  You are degenerating the human race.  You must do one, or all of the following:

1. Give up text messaging.  Adopt an Amish lifestyle.
2. Give up text messaging.  Talk to people on the phone, or in person.  This worked out well in the 80's.
3. Be a responsible adult, and use texting in a mature way.  Don't have conversations through text messages, don't text someone just to say "Hey, what's up?", don't depend on texting for communication.  Foster real relationships with real people in real life.

I will tell you something else.  The line between texting and all virtual communication is blurry.  I'm a hypocrite, really.  Sometimes I decide to respond to a voicemail on my phone through a Facebook message or an email, usually because I just don't feel like calling the person back.  I probably don't feel like it because talking to people takes energy, communication demands your whole attention and focus.  I get lazy.  I get unintelligent.

I just realized today that I encourage other "texters" when I respond to messages they post from their phones via texting!  Ouch.  How can I live this double standard?  Do I need to give up Facebook, Twitter, Blogging, email... the INTERNET?!  What will become of us?